This.is.like.my. job. now.

Today is a Saturday. I don't count the weeks anymore, I count the months. I never want to count the years. Years is too long without nothing to do. Losing a job isn’t very glamorous. You’re bound to do house chores, tending naughty kids and waiting for husband to come home. But that's life - in all it's gloriousness, confusion, darkness. That's life.

My eldest is going to be 10 tomorrow. He used to fit in romper suits and play with nails and suck on a dummy and now he has started to get a little less clingy with me. I had to teach him how to tie a tie. We're not there yet, but we're close. Often I look at him and cry from love, especially when he was a baby but also especially lately when suddenly all of us in life seem so fragile.

He plays every games with his friends. And still cried if he lost. One time he went home crying because a clown wouldn’t let him win. And not too long ago, he bagged most of the prizes in a birthday party. He was beaming with pride. Yes, he's naturally competitive.

I ask him what the current crop of girls are like.

"Ahhh, dunno ma I'm not interested in girls at the moment."

I told him I *bet* they're interested in him and we both laughed.

And I remembered how tiny he was as a baby, how I'd stand at his door during daytime naps waiting for him to wake up because I missed him.

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Some Things Are Harder Than You Think

Women are not as complicated as you guys believe. Oh well, there are times that we are hormonal, over-dramatic and sensitive.

But everyone goes through this at some point, whether you're a guy or a girl. So it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Because you know what? It's normal for people.

When I am by myself, I eat a family block chocolate, one leg propped up. I pluck armpits hair. Talk to the world and wait for it to talk back. I swear, ruminate, despair and answer all the questions in my head. And I talked so fast you’d swear I am schizo.

But when I am out in the society, no one could suspect. Like I will ask you super nicely if I can iron your clothes, feed your dogs or cook for you out of politeness or well meaning impulsiveness.

People close to me know I talk to a laptop. I don’t know but every time I start opening the computer, I would start talking like a robot, “start now, start now, now, now…!”

And as I have mentioned here before, I am quite a multitasker.

I have the tendency to do many things at once.

Okay. So for instance, last Saturday morning, I thought of cutting my children’s hair. You see I hate the long sideburn. So I cut them. No, really. I did. And nobody cried.

That's while the washing machine was running.

Yesterday, I planned about revamping an old black dress into a peplum blouse. You know those DIY’s flying around in the internet? I am somehow inspired. But then I forgot everything about it.

Of course I did. Also, I don't have a sewing machine.

So yeah. That's how my brain works.

Uh. That's all. Just thought I'd share.

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Oh I made something for a very close friend. Hi Margj! She’s 40 on Saturday and because I'm super sweet, I made this card for her.

You are halfway to 80. Way to go!

Happy Birthday Friend!

Today, a friend celebrates her 39th birthday. Woohoo!!!

Now who is near mid-life crisis?

Anyway, I thought it would be nice to make a special tribute to her today in this blog. I've talked about her a few times here and I know I've always said she's amazing. Well, she is and I swear I'm not just biased. Of course, she's not perfect but no one is, anyway.

Allow me to share with you some of the reasons why I think my friend here is awesome.

1. She is a giver and never asks anything in return.
2. She lent me her white dress that I wore to a wedding, and stays generous even if she is now half way across the world. 
3. She is polite and never talked ill to anyone.
4. In one way she’s like a bra, always there to give me support. 
5. In another way a four-leaf clover, hard to find but lucky to have. 
6. And when we were still single and wandering about love and the boys, I almost hitched her to a married guy. But she never despised me. Yes readers, I am not normal some days.
7. Finally she is a friend because she knows me yet she still likes me.

"You're precioouuuuus..."

You're welcome friend!

Yes, It’s That Time Again

If you are a pessimist, birthdays are no good. It means growing old and nearing your death day. Although it’s the time that you finally get your head together, but this is the also the point where your body parts are falling apart, where narrow waist and broad mind change place.

Really where did the time go?

In my 20’s I learned all the hard lessons. In my 30’s, these lessons have been fun and exciting, but most times painful and bitter. I have done so many things in the past 37 years that I never would've imagined and I'm proud of myself for that. I don't know exactly what the last two years of this decade holds for me, but I am thankful enough. I know that Jesus died for me and He loves me more than His own life. That I am precious to Him no matter how wrinkled, sour or aged I become.

King David, a man from God’s own heart, wrote this with great optimism on growing old:

May the message of Psalm 71 continue to inspire us to embrace our growing years and be happy about it. Not despising the lost years but finding hope in the many years to come. Like Jesus, let us continue to grow more in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52).

I'm not going to bother making goals because I like seeing how things have unfolded so far. I'm more confident in my ability to see "red flags" while still remaining open to new experiences and challenges.

Remember growing old is one thing, but growing up is another.

My greetings to those who are celebrating their birthdays too. May you also enjoy the growing old in Christ!

Birthday Plans

The little boy is turning 8 on Friday, and so this stuff-toting, budget-conscious mother is thinking ways to make him feel a bit more special on that day. If it will fall within the budget, I like to have it different from his previous birthdays. However, we can’t afford anything pricey now. Although I would love to surprise him with the latest models of cell phones, you know those that begin with a lower-case “i” like iPhone, iPad, etc. but these are unlikely as of the moment. He’ll have to wait until he is older and more responsible.

And since these technological gewgaws are impractical, I thought these places can be his other options to spend the Big Day

What else can tickle the mind of an 8-year old but the wonders of Science? Try the Mind Museum at Taguig City and experience looking at flowing lava and see him amazed with the giant replica of astonishing T-Rex. Grawrr!

The boy will surely be delighted with the now becoming famous swimming pool waves. Amana Water Park will certainly entertain him all afternoon playing with waves, gliding down water slides and be mesmerized with the giant superhero stone sculptures of this resort. However, it’s a wee bit far and so the budget may double up because we need to rent a van.

This is another interesting place to visit. The boy had been there during one of his educational trips. Museo Pambata is open daily except Monday. I say, this is more interesting than the National Museum if it’s the kids you want to keep amused.

And finally, sign him up to Jollibee Summer Worshop and make his summer Jolly happy. This is a one week summer class where they are to meet twice a week. They will do art, prepare meal and make new friends. They will be given own uniform and have graduation later on. Not bad.

I am excited for him to do any one of these.

Do you have 8-year old? what would you do to entertain him? May be we can share ideas.

Saying ‘I Love You, Son’ With Kiss All Over the Place

I am not sure you are aware, blogging has made me a tell-all mother ever since I got into writing blogs. And being a son, you will not be spared like your father and eventually your little sister into this little side journey of on-line diary. Why you ask, doing this thing? Because whether my post is a lot of nonsense or a serious one, this is where your mama chills out a bit. Especially when days are harder and life is cruel. You see, I don't feel things lightly, and I listen to what my feelings tell me.

You are a blessing, have I told you that? Not only because you are my spitting image. What a big head you have when you came out. Of course I know that a baby's head is disproportionately large compared to its body and thin neck. And the mystery ends when I ran into old family photos and saw my enormous cranium. Yes, you are my son alright.

Your father and I had crazy days and nights raising you. How’d we felt terrified each time you catch fever. You see, your terrible tonsil played a big part of your childhood. You are forever with tonsillitis sending you frequent bouts of high fever convulsions. Oh how I want to cut from my memory that fateful night when you turned blue. I thought you were going to die. But the Lord is good, he so loves me, he let you live.

I love you, you are my first born. I will never let anything harm you. I will fight to death if anything or anyone put you down. They don’t know what we’ve been through. Too sad, your father and I are not born rich and so you will not inherit from us a castle or a huge farm or big stocks to big time companies. But surely, we will always have in mind what is best for you. Hope you grow up to be a God-fearing individual. Keep up the good work, and if ever I die and live again, I would still like to be your mother.

Just promise me two things: to always keep an eye on your little sister, and don't talk to strangers.

Happy Birthday, Margj!

Today, friends, you got to know Margj. Her name spells a little different. Others ended with e like Marge of The Simpsons, or the more common Margie. She is, by birth, Margarita. We know each other for good 16 years now. She's also a fantastic writer, and, like, me, isn't afraid to admit that, during younger days, she was socially awkward too especially in front of her crush. However, gone are the days of boys and crushes but we remain friends even now that she lives half way across the world. If anything, she adores cats, loves chocolates and would die for anything “romantic”.

Happy Birthday.

Payat ka pa dito!

Happy Birthday, Sister!

My sister turned big 4-0 today and whether she admits it or not, we are the same in many ways. Although she sported longer hair these days, and is (argh!) slimmer, we are difficult to tell apart, like peas in a pod. We both have short frames, prominent jaws and chunky built. We are also both conformist, traditional in life views. I suppose that’s part of the reason why our handwriting are quite identical. Because, I am, like what Sharon Cuneta calls it, her second-rate, trying-hard copy cat. Back in the days, I just want to be like her. Oh, she sings very well. She’ll kill me for telling, but I remember her in a singing contest. That night, she came home with a movie ticket as a consolation prize!

Ate, from too many years ago with baby Mike

Psychology and child experts tell us constantly of the importance of the older sibling in a child’s life – how they teach the younger one about life and the world, how they set an example and how those sibling bonds only strengthen with age.

I agree 100 percent with that last assertion, though the hardness of time taught us to become self-contained and not too “clingy”, she lends stability and security that are usually seen on mothers, not sisters. Only, she cracks the corniest joke, and sneezes almost annoyingly. She wouldn’t stop until she wet her eyes.

But now, more than ever, I want her to be happy. I want her to fully believe in herself. I want her to see how beautiful she is. I want her to see herself as others see her. I want her to be proud of herself because she’s grown into one amazing woman, sister and friend.

Once a teacher, always a teacher!

Happy Birthday, Ate. Your little sister loves you dearly.

Just Turned One!

I t was her first birthday party. I loved her in her red jumper dress, red shoes, with those cute knots on the head. Her eyes; black and round, seemed thrilled with the blues and reds scattered all around the hall. It was kind of surprising that she was not sleepy at 600m pm. Yes, we had it early evening to avoid the summer’s scorching heat; with people she should be familiar with- grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, cousins, etc. Pity, not everyone is present. She was clingy at first but loosened up when played with by smaller children, kept her self busy by walking back and forth. However, cameras don’t suit her. She hates interruption and so, in an effort to put her still and take her pictures, I have to shout “chicken, there are chicken!” even if the only animal in the room is a bee.

She got all mixed up between the candles and this red, oversized, particularly giggly Jollibee, quite confused to where to look at. Who wouldn’t anyway? She would shriek if gone inch nearer. Hence, gone were my plans to take her pictures with him. Thanks to her brother who posed, shook hands and played with the mascot. I thought he was past the stage of taking them for monsters, and so therefore helped me with shots and pictures I want.

Because Nanay failed to make it to the party, it was extended back at home.

I’ve looked forward to this event with lots of plan in my head- audio visual presentation, song number, group dance, if only I can do it alone, with little more time and resources. Then again, why would I not be happy if all the reason to celebrate is here: my little girl is learning, changing and growing in more ways than one.