These Scary Toys

It is called "Baby So Real". Some are cute but others are, well, sort of really creepy. I think this one belong to the Smithsonian under the evolution of man.

And she can represent a baby Java Man.

And remember this Kid’s TV show aired early part this year at Channel 2? Um, am I only the one who thinks that Wako wako looks like he has emerged from an alien movie? he and his friend look like they have become some sort of mutant furry animals akin to that Chewbacca of Star Wars. Hairy but not cuddly. At least not to me.





And as if Chuckie doll is not scary enough, they have included his spawn to this next toy. I must point out that Chuckie Jr makes a really creepy child's toy.



If you haven't seen the movie Rango, this next picture is Ms. Beans, the love interest of Johnny Depp--er, I mean Rango. Johny Depp just does the voice for Rango. Anyway, she's supposed to be a Desert Iguana.



However, with the wig and the eyes? I think they are two different things.

So parents, if you are going to go to the trouble to buy your children a gift, don't buy them one that they will later need therapy for.

Horror Movies Leaves me Late and Zombie-Like

Which is a prefect start for Halloween! I have never made it a secret that I am a giant baby and thus it should come as no shock that while I love Halloween I loathe being scared. But there are some people who don't necessarily like scary things but they like the adrenaline of being scared. That is me. There is nothing more likely to cause my bipolar side to come out, you know, hearing and seeing strange and ghost-like thingy in imagination, which I get after watching those horror flicks. And when I’m with company, it is either I clam up in one corner or my fist to his face when I am terrified. Really, I can be that pretty unpredictable when scared.

And just because TV people see this occasion as a way to make more money, they ride on the idea of scaring people around. I watched Rated K where the whole episode centered on paranormal activities, ghost hunting, psychic works and stories between the dead and the undead. I continued on watching about spirits, ghouls, and lumbering ghosts from one program to the next. I stayed until I-Witness which was around midnight already. They focused on the horrific The Film Center incident. They showed rescuing a dying man who was buried half body. He was gasping for breath but died later. I switched to the next channel and watched Sunday’s Best where they featured haunted places in Baguio, Sampaloc, and other horror hot spots all over the country. I finished watching at one am already . I thought I did an all-time high on who can change channel and pushing mute button the quickest to avoid all the scary parts.

Even if I get through the movies and TV programs with my brave big girl face on I am storing those images, those fears, and those characters in my brain and believe me when I say they come back to haunt me. I have this incredible imagination. Every poltergeist, white lady, headless priest, and even mananangal meets me when my head hits the pillow. Every sound, breeze, shadow, or branch on a window becomes a threat to my life and sleep never comes. And every time I close my eyes I swear I hear them breathing right down my neck. If I turn my back to the door they could sneak up on me but if I face the other way the window is in my blind spot. Yikes...I'll just sleep on my back--but then all my vital organs are exposed and vulnerable...sleep on my stomach and I'm defenseless. See where I am going here? You know the one I'm talking about...don't pretend that you don't.

So I came to work this morning half awake. I almost missed the train. Almost because I did come to work 30 minutes early so I was not really late. (I only thought adding the late word on the title is nice). But I don’t think of ghosts and spirits anymore, only because I realize that there are far more frightening and scarier things in life. Like knowing that your paycheck is not due today but on Wednesday.

Very scary.

On Why You Should Buy Haunted Stuff

First, because they are more challenging. Challenging enough to leave everyone screaming while running out of the house. Who wouldn’t get excited of having the whole house to your self even for one day? Second, they are probably cheaper. You get them at a fraction of the original cost. You know, stigmatized properties are a bit difficult to liquidate, not because they have ghosts living in there, but because they don’t usually go well with plasma TVs. So they are usually for sale with big discounts. But far too many people give up on something just because it’s not easy. I personally believe that people should consider the advantages of spook-filled, bemoaning creepy, crawly stuff that turn to lumbering Zombies who want to eat your brain when you are not looking. Lets look at their benefits.

Haunted Beds

It is soft and inviting to curl up on, and has comfort you can rely on night after night. Adore the big head board carvings, accents and draperies and all the designs that looked kind like well, old, like something you see, well, in horror movies. In the deep of the night, prepare to feel a weird kind of pressure looming over you, and watch the edge of the bed depress like someone is sitting there. But take heart, buying them and getting rid of these beds every 6 months is worth the terror. Our 2- year old bed, soaked in pees, dusts and bug is not something you will like. I tell you that’s a very good deal.

Haunted Rocking Chairs

Not where U2, Black Sabbath or Aerosmith peeps rock and sit. I speak of a type of chair with two curved bands of wood attached to the bottom of the legs (one on the left two legs and one on the right two legs) and rock back and forth thus rocking chair (duh?). Wait till it rocks on its own. At first a very slow rock, then a little bit slower, then a little bit faster. But don’t run yet. Be glad about how much you can save using it instead of buying the costly Lazy Boy you see in posh furniture stores. It will lull you to sleep faster. Double the points if it is painted in pink. How cute!

Haunted Clocks, Refrigerators, Vacuum Cleaners, Mixers, etc.

They usually levitate, open and close and choked or pinned you to death. Your grandfather clock rings will terrify you enough to doom. Add the thrill if the grand piano plays on its own. But worry not, they are as priceless as they are good power saving devices. You can actually cut your electric bill in half as they are not plugged to any electrical outlet. And they usually come to life when you least expected it.

And last but not the least..

Haunted Houses

Well they are scary and make you feel like “you are not really alone”. Just wait a short time and everything inside your haunted house like your haunted beds, chairs, clocks and piano are sure to get thrown across the room. Expect to hear bemoaning spirits, appearing in and out in thin air. But they do have their own benefits. I don't know how much CCTV and other home security systems cost, but they can't be cheap. I'm sure that the system itself is expensive, but then the monthly monitoring fee is probably ridiculous, too. Just imagine how much money someone would save if they had a ghost to keep the burglars out.

There are actually many other benefits of owning a haunted house such as having cool disco lights. Look at what happened to Kris Aquino’s house in Fengh Shui (even the undead have the right to party, right?). You can also charge for tours around the house during the Halloween.

These are, actually, nice ideas.

Have a happy spooky Halloween, friends!

What Was Your Favorite Scary Movie as a Kid?

I have this love-hate relationship when it comes to scary movies. Not a big fan, I don’t want to subject myself to trauma of shocking myself to death with those spooky films. Yet, I can’t resist watching Halloween movies once in awhile. And when I finished one, it had this cathartic effect on me that I had actually gone beyond my natural fear of ghosts, spirits and death. But you see, not all scary movies are the same. There are slasher ones (Saw, Final Destination, etc.) suspenseful ones (I know What You Did Last Summer, Scream, etc.) and comedy ones. I recall watching..

Bettlejuice (1988)

A horror-commedy film starring Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin. It is a story of a dead couple who get the services of a "bio-exorcist" in order to remove the new living owners of their house. Watching it, you’ll have more laughs than screams.







For local horror films, I like those that have ghosts, exorcism, and “aswang” or a ghoul in them. Not necessarily the kind that send blood and other bodily organs spewing across the screen, but the suspenseful, nail-biting, sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, holding-your-breath, tingles-running-up-and-down-your-spine kind. For the plots and actors that played in them, I like..

Sa Init ng Apoy (1980)

Starring Lorna Tolentino and the late Rudy Fernandez. Newly-weds, they went to Baguio to escape Manila's summer heat. But before they reach the city proper, their jeep breaks down. Fortunately, they found a transient house with a room to spare. The housekeeper (George Estregan) is a mysterious fellow, warm but dreadfully awkward. The couple doesn't mind him though and they even make it an adventure to find out more about their host by asking locals what they know about the house and its keeper. Apparently, he turned into a ghoul during the night.



Lovingly Yours Helen (1984)

It’s a trilogy but the most remarkable is where Julie Vega played a young lady being exorcised. Other stars include Connie Reyes and Anita Linda. I can remember how scared I was the first time I saw this movie. Until now, I won’t forget the scene when Julie Vega was suspended on the ceiling. It’s also the last movie for her. Rumors had it that this movie caused her death. It is said that spirits got angry with her because of the use of Latin prayers on the scene.

Shake, Rattle and Roll Part 1 (1984)


Again, it’s a trilogy but the best is where Herbert Bautista played young Douglas. A manananggal is said to live within the vicinity and is out to eat people. He is given the task by his grandmother to kill this creature. Having to found a way to prevent it from rejoining the other half of its body, he must now survive the night to protect his family from the creature's ferocious attacks. This story is one of the most popular and suspenseful episodes of the entire series. Herbert Bautista's role won him the Best Actor award at the 1984 Metro Manila FilmFest.

So, friends, do you have a favorite scary movie? Why do you like it? Do you prefer slasher, suspense or comedy-horror movies? Are there any horror flicks that you just can't watch until now?

Day of the Dead

Few days from now is All Saint’s Day. While in many countries, this is a solemn holiday set aside to remember the dead, in the Philippines the holiday is a day of festivities. November 1 marks the beginning of the Filipino "Araw ng mga Patay," the celebration of the dead. The memorial continues through the next day, All Souls Day. If for others it is sincere and solemn, for some it is a day of fun and pleasure. Do you put faith in stories about the return of spirits of the dead, of witches, and of ghosts and goblins? If you are from my country and was born in the 70’s, you are surely familiar with the all the sequels of Shake, Rattle & Roll or see Noli de Castro delivering his spiel “Magandang Gabi, Bayan” in a dark, spooky graveyard.

Before November 1, people would cram to Divisoria for the candles and flowers. Also, join thousands of people who gather early in the cemetery to decorate their dead relatives' tombs. Cemeteries consist mostly of mausoleums instead of grave plots and generations of ancestors are often buried in one tomb. The mausoleums are gaily adorned with balloons and flowers.

Going to the cemetery is another story. Not only you spend for the candles and flowers, but you are also doomed to get stuck in the traffic and realized that everyone is out this time of year. And if you are visiting dead relatives in the province, you should have saved enough for the family to survive the entire vacation.

However, the true November 1 experience happens in collecting used candles, eating toasted corn nuts and salted snack foods, playing games and sharing stories while sitting on the ledges of tombs. In this festive atmosphere, it's not unusual to hear the echoes of the old and young laughing.

It is indeed not really just the living visiting the dead, but it is more of coming home to place that brings you back where you are rooted, to where you will more likely rest in peace when your own time comes.