Monday, July 30, 2012

You Can’t Choose Your Family

Thirty Eight Years. That's almost four decades of existence. It seems like an eternity wrapped in a milisecond, if that makes any sort of sense. A long stretch of time on the highway of life and yet the miles seem to have passed by so quickly. Old family photos look so yesterday. Gone are the days of youthful appearance. Instead, you see your parent looking more like your grandparents while you getting your parent’s “look“.

If you know what I mean.

Life is a funny thing, isn't it? You can never really know where you're going or who you’ll end up with until you've looked at it through the lens of where you've been. Life is one wild journey, and marriage among other things is one side of self-discovery with no U-turn. In those years, I've...

    *Wielded power during early times of loss, deaths, separations, unemployment, etc.
    *Fought against the challenge of poverty that tried to stop from me pursuing college.
    *Loved, had my heartbroken and broke a few hearts (well, in my mind) along the way.
    *Finally graduated from college, got married and bore kids.
    *Had 2 Cesarean surgeries.
    *Exposed myself to criticisms of bringing up kids (and raising up husband).
    *Molded the future Katy Perry as mom to Yana who loves to sing ‘Fireworks’.

Not looking far, I see and hear lots of stories of marriage breakdowns, watch lives go down the drain of depression, self-hating and hopelessness. And see the consequences in their children’s unhappy faces. Sadly you can’t choose your family. This is because you can’t make life for them. Our children’s lives are the sum of our choices and decisions as parents. As for one parent who stood the ground of trials and hardships of raising children alone, you are definitely a hero. No one can prepare for emotional meltdown.

Not knowing better, I looked at marriage failure before as a bad thing. As if it is because of some sort of inherent - and fatal - character flaws that prevent you from building a happy home. But for others, especially mothers, who choose to embrace her responsibilities, saying "I' can do this ." There's such power in that declarative, isn't there?

I've grown, I've changed, but most importantly, I've learned. Everywhere I've been, every experience I've had, every encounter I've had with another person? It's all part of the story of where I've been. And honestly, it's sort of amazing to look at your life written out in a list like that. If nothing else, it makes you realize one thing: Life is still a ride you never want to get off of. And that's something to be celebrated.

Every. Single. Day.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Smile As if Its The Last Thing To Do

Most people want to be happy. But they do not know 
what they want. Everyone seems to be in a rat race. Some look for it in material things, some in relationships. Some mistakes it for money while others take it from glory. What about it that seems unsatiating? Aren't we designed to be happy?
Here is what this beautiful song has to say. 

When you can’t see him, trust him. Jesus is closer than you’ve ever dreamed. Your scars cannot be deeper than the ones He carried, on His hands and on His side. C. S. Lewis says: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Question is: “Are you listening?”

Monday, July 23, 2012

SONA: Its like Alphabet Soup From A to Z

Hi good Monday to you, dear friends. Why today is your lucky day? Because if you are living along Commonwealth Avenue and have to pass Cubao to get home, it is sure your lucky day to watch life as it pass slooooowly right in your face. Because closed roads and high volume of traffic will surely chain you to your seats for some time. Well, I know of course that 29 classes around the Batasan Complex are already suspended, but this is so that all 2,679,450 peeps (probably the reason why Quezon City is considered the biggest city based on population) could look at what Loren Legarda will put on this year. Remember her bare back gown last year?

To spice it up, I decided to do the “A TO Z challenge” which is a challenge to blog thematically from A to Z every day, one letter at a time. It sounds interesting, but restrictive and structured blogging makes my teeth itch, so I decided to participate by doing all the letters all at once, because that's how I roll. (And despite my aversion for structure (and insane work schedule/life in general), I've been trying to post as my precious time permit. However, I'm only doing "A to K" today and will conclude with "L to Z" until who knows when.

(Part 1)

    A is for "Aquino”
the son of a president that ended up as a president himself. I must say he’s my second choice for the Presidency next to Eddie Villanueva. Oh how he went from being a reluctant Senator and hiding in corners, to climbing all over Corona’s face and running after Gloria at the airport. Despite the Hacienda Luisita and the gloom that looms our Scarborough Shoal, I would like to believe that this country will do good under him. In time.

    B is for "Binay"
Although I’m not really sure what is the role of a Vice President if all the authorities and powers are in the hands of the President, this man does not mind playing second to Pres. Aquino. He is short, dark, but gentleman even when he was poked fun at during Dolphy’s wake by Brad Pete, a comedian. He told he was using tire black instead of tan lotion. I don’t think he was seriously pissed.

    C is for "Corona"
Like his last name, he can fit for a king. Only his midnight appointment clearly put a cloud of doubt on his name. And until now I can’t accept that by living simple life you could own multiple local and foreign accounts. Really now. He’s middle name? Velcro. He never left the side of Gloria until the end. How faithful.

    D is for "DFA"
telling China to back off from the West Philippine Sea. That we should fight for our sovereignty. And yet we’re still using beauty products, electronic gadgets like celphones, Itabs, I-phones and eating sardines, milk, that are made 100% from China.

    E is for "Economic Growth Rate"
in this case which is by far the most controversial every time SONA is happening. It is said that Malacañang is desperate to pump-prime the Philippine economy. On a per capita basis, the country’s economic performance cannot keep up with rapidly escalating costs of living and population growth galloping along at a rabbit colony’s pace. Although not all faults are President’s, — but the sort that real people can touch and eat — continues to elude us. When I was still in the third grade, my teacher said we belong to a developing country. 30 years forward, we still are.

    F is for "Fashion"
Just because the country’s public coffers are nearly depleted and we have an insurmountable amount of socio-economic work ahead of us, doesn’t mean we have to look or dress poorly! If there’s one thing Pinoys know how to do, it’s to dress the part and put on a good show. However, the public can only hope that these elected officials take as much time and effort in crafting bills and making sure they pass through to be enacted into laws, as they did in selecting their gowns and barongs.

    G is for "Grace Lee"
The Korean girl that has become the apple of the eyes of Mr. Aquino for a few months. Too bad, they ended too soon. I can imagine the president to open his SONA like this: “Let us bow our heads and offer a moment of silence for the demise of my so-called lovelife.”

    H is for "Hail, Thunderstorms and Flood"
We don’t have snow. We only have two seasons: high tide and low tide. You will realize this if you are living in CAMANAVA (that’s Caloocan, Malabon, Navotas and Valenzuela to you). And when you live beside dams, creeks, or are living in the lowlands at the foot of mountains, luckily SONA is the least of your concern. You will only mind flashfloods, Leptospirosis, Dengue, and yes a boulder as big as a house that will crash upon you anytime.

    I is for "Impeachment Trial"
the 5-month long trial and hearing of the Senator Judges of the charges filed against CJ Renato Corona. Oh how we went all crazy about his lengthy speech that made him talk of the town. You can read it here. It ended dethroning the highest magistrate and making everyone else in the Judicial Bar Council scurrying around for the next Chief Justice.

    J is for "Justin Beaver and other foreign acts"
that literally eat our local acts alive. If something mildly annoys me, this is knowing that our best and concert artists like Regine Velasquez, Jed Nadela, Erik Santos (less Anne Curtis) run out of audience. Yes, I like them. But I love my own blood more. I hope the government will give more support to our local artists.

    K is for "K-12"
it’s a new education system where elementary years are stretched until grade 12. So my son who is in 3rd grade now will stay in school for nine years more before he can enter college. Good grief!

Gaah, this is too long..

I want to finish this today but the SONA had just started. Stick around, friends!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Piece of Advice

Just how much of these is true?

They are comforting thoughts, aren't they friends? These prints are from Laws of Modern Man. I'd love to know: just how much of your own happiness are you willing to let go for the sake of others? Do we always have to take the good with the bad? I'm pretty sure we do. Because we wouldn't be who we are without the balance of the two.

Have a happy weekend!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

How I Feel In Photos

'Never ignore someone's problem. What maybe nothing to you may be everything to them.'

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Today, I Mourn

Raindrops on my face

dark clouds on the horizon

I hold back the tears

Memories mingle

with the tears of misty eyes


Tears fall from heaven

a heart opens the floodgate

to grief and sorrow

Raindrops on the roof

my heart pitter-pattering

memories tapping

Tears falling,falling

heart fluttering,fluttering

my love, departing

Lips of sweet nectar

the memory of his kiss

turn bitter with tears

Fading memories

the pavement of broken dreams

wet with heaven's tears



Sunday, July 8, 2012

Dear Monday

(Today I decided to do Dear Monday. This is actually a link up with Claire of The Secret Notebook. It’s a little letter to your week and you tell why you should be happy and not manic about it.)

Dear Monday, I am sorry you caught me dreaming and hoping its still Sunday. I knew I was not setting my self up for success by staying awake watching TV last night and sleeping till close to 12 midnight…but lo! morning came so early. I dragged myself out of bed otherwise three things will happen: one kid will be late for school, a husband will leave with empty stomach and myself coming late for office. Why is work so hard to go back to? But really, I am grateful because all Mondays tell me I will not be lazy-ing around the whole week. That I am okay even if stress level hits high any time and any day.

Dear Aditi of The Life of An Indian Girl, hey girl, thanks for the blog award you gave me. For a minute I didn’t realize I can be fabulous the way you see me. Your own blog is fun and lively and fresh like yourself. I sure can do Snoopy dance again with the award hehe. I am passing this also to:

Claire of The Secret Notebook

Aditi of The Life of An Indian Girl

Anney of Blog ni Ako

{--And to follow the tradition, you can read my post here. Spell Happiness!}

Dear Zumba, I know I‘ve been unfaithful to you this past few days. If I could bear hug you so I would. I enjoyed you. I already miss the ohs and ahs and the aching joints I have after you. Sorry I was not able to go to the class because of the heavy downpour and heaviness of my body too. I remember how it felt so good bathing with my own perspiration and catching my breath to death. So looking forward to have a date with you again.

Dear Weather, I need you to warm up considerably and consistently so my house will be built on time. This construction thing leave me stressed and flat broke. This too so we can have our aerobics not under the heavy rain, will you?


Dear Self, stop harassing everyone. Your husband is starting to complain about your temper! Go out, have fun, spend money the way you want. Take heart, everything for sure will pay off in the end. Air high five to you this week, Littleyana!

So what will this week hold in store for you, friends?

Fun things, I hope.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Trouble With Coffee

It recently occurred to me that I wish I’d loved coffee earlier so I won’t be intimidated by the different kinds, flavor, sizes and prices next time I visited a coffee shop. Lacking the aristocracy of an educated coffee lover, I know nothing about Cappuccino, Capachillo,Machiatto. For all I know they all sound, look, and taste the same.

I should explain that I didn’t go to Blenz Coffee Shop without a purpose. I’ve met up with a visiting friend from NY and she decided to have coffee after the meal and so we went to Blenz Coffee. I wasn’t that high on going, but my friend surely knows what she wants and I don’t. And besides that wasn’t much of a thing to debate about, was it?

Through the large plate glass windows you can see a few people scattered about, and even sitting next to one another with their faces lit up by their laptops and their ears plugged up with white wires. They won’t look back, nor up from the screen not at one another. Welcome to the new café life, where a congress of zombies type anything interesting they have to say into a device, all sealed from the world around them.

Interestingly the place didn’t smell coffee. And since nobody minds anyone, we came in unnoticed. And there up in front a long list of flavored coffee. Together with our other friend, also a non-coffee drinker, there we stood full two minutes and nothing happened.

“So what are we going to have?,” I hushed careful not to hear by anyone.

“I don’t know,” friend answered, rubbing her temples.

“Look at how many coffees they have, ” my voice wanting to break into silent cry. “I can’t even pronounced them”.

“So what now?”

“ I’ll probably have something with chocolate in it,”

“That’s perfect. I’ll have that too”.

I turned to the girl at the counter looking a bit impatient already.

“Two orders of iced chocolate, about as tall as that one” pointing to the regular plastic up beside the register.

And that’s how I decided to drink tea from now on.