Sunday, November 25, 2012

Since You Asked…

I am not spawning. Not pregnant. It’s my belly, and it is just bloated.

Yesterday, the church was a full house. It was our anniversary and many people came to check us. Some were a bit cold, some tried their best to be gracious and cordial and some others were genuinely happy to cheer with us.

I was one of the two emcees and so my face was wallpaper.

In a mad scramble to coordinate the next song number to the next powerpoint presentation, I was trotting like a troll.

And so bumping with old acquaintances, shaking hands with ex-deacons, ex-youth members, ex co-workers, is always inevitable.

And so I was asked, “Sis, pregnant ka ba?”

By the same old woman, who asked the same question, every single time she see me. And I did what I always do in extremely stressful and emotional situations: smile. Can she just asked “kumusta na?”.

So I said no, and after exchanging few pleasantries I excused myself politely.

And then another guy commented, “tumataba ka ngayon ah.”

He said that, like it was nothing.

Thank you. Your words are really comforting.

I'm being as kind to myself as I possibly can, cutting myself some slack. My children, they are so full of life, and beautiful and my biggest treasure. I’m beyond lucky and have a big spirit of gratitude. Hubs looks better with each passing year. Not too thin, not too fat. ... how is it that men age better?

When the speaker started, I sank at the corner like a distraught toolbag. Did not care who was watching. I was all ears because I was Ruth in his story.


I expected to return home annoyed and stressed at all of the hurry ups, hustle and bustles and mania of anniversary event- but I'm not. Remember the story of Ruth in the bible? She is a Moabite, a widow, a foreigner, exactly a person who has no identity. Many know her side of story who is faithful to her in-law. Remember the verse:”Your people, will be my people. Your God, will be my God?”. That’s her.

But her other side tells she is a poor woman, waiting in vain for somebody to do the right thing. That's all. She was sent to Boaz to glean from his field. But Boaz here, blessed her in more ways than one. She was allowed to go with the women, picking up as they harvest. She was provided with water, and told no one to touch her or else.

I saw myself in Ruth. I’m resolved to not buy cheap version of me. My body should have no bearing on how people treat me. And I want to talk to those good people who never had to live this, but genuinely want to care and help, without buying into crap that have been sold for generations about obesity, diet and body image.

God sees us as beautiful people, fat and all. What we taught that things we don’t deserved like respect, kind-heartedness, thoughtfulness, caring words- these are given. And more. He sent Jesus, what else can He not give?


  1. Wew! Sometimes i feel like that ate Malou. hehe I never know what a complement is. You've gotten too thin! My friend comment recently and i was thinking she thinks im starving and have nothing to eat. bwahaha and last year people would say i gained a lot of pounds and it makes you feel bad. With these two you dont know what to think anymore. Why cant people just say, hey you look great! haha

    Maybe this will help, try to listen if you have time:

  2. Man look at outward appearance but God look at the heart.

    I miss my bible story. Nakakarelate ako sayo. Lalo na yung sa mga mismong kasama mo pa sa church yung maririnig mo yung mga ganun.

    Ruth is one of my fav bible character after God. Nice POst :)

  3. Malou - I had a pretty same ordeal that you encountered last Friday, the same reason why I post an entry in my blog about it but in a discreet way so as not to directly hit those people who are the cause of my misery that day. Because those people are my friends. It's hard sometimes to deal with people who only sees the physical in you. The type that when you meet them they will easily size up how fat or how thin you are. Well, it's a social stigma in our society for ages and it can't be vanished easily.

    Like you did, I just handle them cheerfully hiding the fact that somehow I'm hurting inside for their side comments about my weight gain. Probably, it is due to the fact that they used to see as a lean guy before and they may be surprised that I had gain lots of weight. Anyway, let's pray for them that they mend their ways or that they can form a character that is pleasing to God.

  4. hmmm. instead of taking it in a negative way, use it positively to enhance yourself. you know yourself better than they do. :) and if you think that its not something you should be concerned then try to take it lightly.. or maybe more like a joke. I know we girls are emotional. but instead of stressing ourselves about other people's comments, just think of how God really loves you and we're not suppose to please everybody by how we look or by what we do. important thing is you're happy about yourself.

  5. Awww you are not alone... I think not receiving that question when you aren't even married... and not even doing it with someone... is even more annoying...
    ... I don't even have the audacity to ask the same to them...

  6. i know its easier said than done, but we have to swallow everything that people throw at us during these times or as my mom would put it "walang pakundangang insulto". its pretty handy though having a hubby who would say... "you are sexier than a victoria's secret model to me" awwww
    cheer up my friend...

  7. Life's like that! People can be so cruel. Pwede namang 'kumusta na?'lang. Pero talagang maghahanap pa ng ibang masasabi. You are not alone. ...Kailangan na lang natin minsan ay self-control. Atleast prove to them that you are 'happy anyway.'