Monday, November 12, 2012

An Open Letter to Andi Eigenmann

Dear Andi:

I suppose I should get a couple of things out of the way first. One, I will not pretend to be your mother so this sadly is not to patronize you and your decisions. In fact, for the longest time, I couldn’t decide if I liked you, and lately I’m not just into you. And two, how did you get so thin and sexy when you just gave birth last year? My youngest is already 3 but I still look pregnant. Why?

I watched you at Deal or No Deal the last time . You can make the 24K girls run out of job. You were sporting a body hugging, almost spandex-like mini dress. For some of us chronically obese: it’s a tease. Really, where did those flabs go? I could almost curse myself from being lazy at my aerobics class.

Actually, it's not because I'm lazy. I'm actually a pretty hard worker. It's just that this year, dancing wasn't a goal. Finishing house is.

So to you Andi, you may ask why I hate to see your latest men’s magazine cover? Because you aren’t good for me that's why. You cause depression, regrets and sugar cravings. I didn’t want to hear it either, but there you go.

Yes, the sugar cravings are too your fault. But that’s because when I am jealous, I eat more.

Frankly, I am surprised at how showbiz mothers lose weight too easily, while we, normal birthing humans, lose milligrams of fats ever so slowly. We had to actually weigh and measure our rice if we want to lose some in the waistline area. And we had to drag ourselves to the gym and face the fear of being permanently maimed by the gruesome kickboxing(I still love Zumba though). And don't even get me started on how repugnant I find other people's sweat. Ewewewew.

So to all of you who get rid of body fats, thank the heavens for your fast metabolism.

Have a nice life, Andi. I'm confident that this spontaneous letter won't break you, but good luck nonetheless.

Peace out,



  1. haha! To be honest i still havent decided whether i like Andi. And yes that is true, she is more sexier now than before she got pregnant. Maybe because of Belo? haha Dont worry much as long as you are living healthy you are sexy! :)

  2. aw... so sad... I know how you feel.. well. I have not been pregnant.. but I know how it feels to have the need to control what you eat, and do exercise just to get rid of those excess. trying ever so hard yet it feels like its not working..

  3. if only money is not a problem, lahat ng diet at enhancements, gagawin at bibilhin ko hihi. Sadly, I cant go to Belo yet. Thanks for dropping by Kots and Sheena!

  4. Hahahaha your letter made me hate Andi too... you are true about that... how did they do that? Have you ever asked Jennilyn Mercado too? lol...She even got the attention of the cutie Luiz Manzano

  5. Jennylyn Mercado, Regine Velasquez, etc. etc. Girl, payat na silang lahat. But my rational side tells me they need it for their job. So they shell out lots of money. They need that kind of beauty that is easy to see. You know, skin deep, shallow and superficial...Thanks Genskie!

  6. I totally hear you lola M... i for one is having a hard time loosing weight knowing its a must for me (due to health issues) but still.
    there are really some people who are lucky enough to get good genes when it comes to body type and there are also some who have their appearance as their bread and butter so truly go out of their way to spend outrageous money just to get that perfectly sculpted body.
    as for us, we are born to sweat it out to get even just that stubborn belly sticking off.
    so...just get down and give me 10 seat ups! :)