Since You Asked…

I am not spawning. Not pregnant. It’s my belly, and it is just bloated.

Yesterday, the church was a full house. It was our anniversary and many people came to check us. Some were a bit cold, some tried their best to be gracious and cordial and some others were genuinely happy to cheer with us.

I was one of the two emcees and so my face was wallpaper.

In a mad scramble to coordinate the next song number to the next powerpoint presentation, I was trotting like a troll.

And so bumping with old acquaintances, shaking hands with ex-deacons, ex-youth members, ex co-workers, is always inevitable.

And so I was asked, “Sis, pregnant ka ba?”

By the same old woman, who asked the same question, every single time she see me. And I did what I always do in extremely stressful and emotional situations: smile. Can she just asked “kumusta na?”.

So I said no, and after exchanging few pleasantries I excused myself politely.

And then another guy commented, “tumataba ka ngayon ah.”

He said that, like it was nothing.

Thank you. Your words are really comforting.

I'm being as kind to myself as I possibly can, cutting myself some slack. My children, they are so full of life, and beautiful and my biggest treasure. I’m beyond lucky and have a big spirit of gratitude. Hubs looks better with each passing year. Not too thin, not too fat. ... how is it that men age better?

When the speaker started, I sank at the corner like a distraught toolbag. Did not care who was watching. I was all ears because I was Ruth in his story.

::

I expected to return home annoyed and stressed at all of the hurry ups, hustle and bustles and mania of anniversary event- but I'm not. Remember the story of Ruth in the bible? She is a Moabite, a widow, a foreigner, exactly a person who has no identity. Many know her side of story who is faithful to her in-law. Remember the verse:”Your people, will be my people. Your God, will be my God?”. That’s her.

But her other side tells she is a poor woman, waiting in vain for somebody to do the right thing. That's all. She was sent to Boaz to glean from his field. But Boaz here, blessed her in more ways than one. She was allowed to go with the women, picking up as they harvest. She was provided with water, and told no one to touch her or else.

I saw myself in Ruth. I’m resolved to not buy cheap version of me. My body should have no bearing on how people treat me. And I want to talk to those good people who never had to live this, but genuinely want to care and help, without buying into crap that have been sold for generations about obesity, diet and body image.

God sees us as beautiful people, fat and all. What we taught that things we don’t deserved like respect, kind-heartedness, thoughtfulness, caring words- these are given. And more. He sent Jesus, what else can He not give?

Lets Talk Christmas Niceness

Do you also get sad during the holidays? During the cold, dark nights, some of us get quiet and melancholy and don’t feel like themselves. Many who are separated from the family have nothing in mind but to be at home with their love ones. People’s feelings and sentiments are under that metaphorical microscope so much more these days than any other days in the year. We feel the strongest and get sad the hardest. Sadly the feeling stays until all of the Christmas lights, decorations, ornament are back in the box again. Oh, the emotions. They all so palpable in the air around this time.



So before we get so excited to Christmas parties we are going to attend, and ahead of all the business, chaos and obligations we need to fulfill, let’s take a second to think of the ways we can do to make the season brighter and happier for others. Here’s my suggestions.

Send Real Christmas Cards

Not the electronic or virtual cards hanging around in the internet. That paper card with cute little design on the cover? You know with all the envelop, stamp and stuff? It's a lot more genuine than words and smiley faces on a tiny little screen. You never know. Your little card can go a long way to brightens someone’s day. Too often, we thought that public greetings we post on our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram wall are enough. Life gets so hectic that we feel we have to do things faster, easier and cheaper. But this time, why not add a personal touch. Let your kids scribbled the message, and may be you can insert the family’s most recent photo. This will surely bring a smile. All because they feel you remember.



Give a Smile

Remember the thing I said about smile on my valentine post? The same applies when its Christmas . It could very well brighten someone's day. Too often, we walk with our heads down, glued to our cellphones, rarely ever meeting another person's gaze. Sometimes we feel we have to be forever "plugged in", fearing that we'll miss an important call or text. But what could be more important than that face-to-face exchange? So go ahead, and look up. You never know who you might see. Why not even take this smile one more mile and say hello to someone as you pass them on the street? Filipinos are now getting well, a bit aloof because of the hardness of times. We become staid and dull when it comes to social interactions. Now is the perfect time to defy fear and suspicion and say "hello" to someone. And mean it.

Be selfless

It seems, especially during the holidays, that we're so quick to push and shove and push and shove our way to the head of the line like little kids on the playground. We don't care who we push aside in line as long as we find ourselves at the front of it. And we fight tooth and nail if ever someone make singit. But imagined how surprised and taken aback someone would be if you said, "Oh, here, why don't you go ahead of me in line?" And if it's a mom or dad with a full cart and children who have chosen that moment to exercise their lung power? Well, I'm sure they'll be particularly grateful.

How are that, friends? I'd love to hear your own ideas.

Shopping Guide List For Her

Wondering what to give your wife or girlfriend this holiday? This is why I’ve decided to create my Shopper’s Guide List of what to buy for your female love ones. I am sorry to tell you all that no, this does not guarantee your girlfriends/ wives will love you more. Until my husband still takes me for Atilla the Hun occasionally, you’re all on your own.

Okay so lets down to business. The first thing on my list is inspired by my latest obsession.



The Diet Plate. This is great for ladies who watch their food intakes. The plan is to guide you with accurate portion of carbohydrate and protein foods to facilitate weight loss and maintenance. It can be used just like an ordinary dinner plate. You can eat everything inside the whole plate and not feel guilty. However, the little tagline says you only use one plate. Seriously, if you will have 3 diet plates bursting with steaks, chops and barbeques at the brim this really spoils the idea. Okay?

Foldable Hunter Boots. Good for fashion conscious slash germ-fighting women. This is different from the ones you see in palengke. This is a lot sosy, as they say. Why? Because the late Princess Diana used it before. That's why. This is great in hot pink because pink makes everything cuter. Besides a pair of this will save you from flood-related illnesses. So habagat-friendly.



BDJ Beauty Box. Perfect for young and older ladies alike with incessant need for perfect eye brow. Surprise her with BDJ online subscription and discover why the most dolled up girl in the office is always aware of the latest trend in fashion and know why her lips shape like fish and burning in red. This may astound the husband because her wife can become Ann Curtis over night.



Dismember-me Plush Zombie. For stressed wives who cannot vent their frustrations. The interest in zombies just never dies, does it? Well, if you're tired of being pushed around by the zombies at home, work, gym, school, store, or wherever, take out your frustration on this sucker. Pull him apart. Remove his brain. Give him a taste of his own medicine! Grrr!



ZombieSmarts Desk Calendar. Can be given for stay-at-home Mom or practically any ladies who has someone in the family she wanted to give a heart attack. But more than that, this simple little desk calendar could help you avoid becoming another cerebellum-munching member of the walking dead with its "grisly facts about the history, habits, and hungers of the living dead. Daily you will learn how to combat a zombie invasion". Not to be taken lightly..

So, there you have it, folks: a short and simple list of all of my suggested Christmas gifts for all the ladies.

What do you think?

Affectionate

Have you ever wanted to just tell someone everything you're feeling, but for some reason you know that you can't? May be because it’s weird? awkward? that your admission could potentially mess everything up? Well, how about boxing your thoughts in a sticker like these:



This post is brought to you by Weekword, and our word for today is AFFECTIONATE. For those of you who haven’t played before and like to know the basic rules, here goes: You have to share in any creative outlet you would like-painting, writing, poetry, lyrics, music, photos, collage, mixed media, drawing, verse, dialogue, videos, anything really-your interpretation of that week’s word on your blog.

Also, please visit my blog friend, Genskie of Genskie's Written Voices for the list of bloggers who joined Week word.

See, it's as simple as that. What do you think? Would anyone like to join?

Nine Years Later

Hubs is definitely nicer than I am. Here’s why…

Next Thursday will be our 9th anniversary. Nine Years!!! It feels longer, both in good and bad ways. He still snores like a rocket about to launch, you know. But through it all, so much have happened since my last anniversary post here.

Over these years, I’ve learned a few things about marriage (and of course, am still learning). Be the front and center to your children. Say thank you. You’re allowed to get mad. Kiss each other goodbye.

But Hubs, who is actually a year younger but a lot wiser, does something really great. Coming out of nowhere, he texts, tells other people, says in my face in front of children, that he is lucky to have found me. Cheez. He does that even seconds after a verbal fight.

I usually shrug it off, thinking “hmm..bola!”. But deeper, I know he means it. And he wants me to hear it.
Not exactly, but in similar matter, I read an article about a husband who also does something great. In height of an argument, he says, "I love you!" right in the middle. It's amazing.



Here's what the husband said: "The secret to a long and happy marriage is not the idea that nothing bad is ever going to happen. But it's that when something bad happens, you know how to get through it together. One of the most important things is that when you're having a fight, instead of ratcheting up the emotion, you diffuse it. In the middle of a fight, say, "I love you; you're the most important person in the world to me," even if at that moment, those words are the hardest ones to choke out because you're so mad. It reminds you both of the big picture. It doesn't make it instantly better, but it takes it down a notch. And in the cool-down period afterward, you're not left questioning. You know everything is going to be ok. Half an hour after the fight, it's over and you feel good."

Great idea, right? I cannot tell you what a difference it makes. I'm still too hotheaded to do it myself, but I'm glad Hubs is nicer, better, sweeter person than I am.

What little secrets and tips do you have for relationships? Do you fight fair? I'd love to hear...

{Photo via LeLove}

An Open Letter to Andi Eigenmann

Dear Andi:

I suppose I should get a couple of things out of the way first. One, I will not pretend to be your mother so this sadly is not to patronize you and your decisions. In fact, for the longest time, I couldn’t decide if I liked you, and lately I’m not just into you. And two, how did you get so thin and sexy when you just gave birth last year? My youngest is already 3 but I still look pregnant. Why?

I watched you at Deal or No Deal the last time . You can make the 24K girls run out of job. You were sporting a body hugging, almost spandex-like mini dress. For some of us chronically obese: it’s a tease. Really, where did those flabs go? I could almost curse myself from being lazy at my aerobics class.

Actually, it's not because I'm lazy. I'm actually a pretty hard worker. It's just that this year, dancing wasn't a goal. Finishing house is.

So to you Andi, you may ask why I hate to see your latest men’s magazine cover? Because you aren’t good for me that's why. You cause depression, regrets and sugar cravings. I didn’t want to hear it either, but there you go.

Yes, the sugar cravings are too your fault. But that’s because when I am jealous, I eat more.

Frankly, I am surprised at how showbiz mothers lose weight too easily, while we, normal birthing humans, lose milligrams of fats ever so slowly. We had to actually weigh and measure our rice if we want to lose some in the waistline area. And we had to drag ourselves to the gym and face the fear of being permanently maimed by the gruesome kickboxing(I still love Zumba though). And don't even get me started on how repugnant I find other people's sweat. Ewewewew.

So to all of you who get rid of body fats, thank the heavens for your fast metabolism.

Have a nice life, Andi. I'm confident that this spontaneous letter won't break you, but good luck nonetheless.

Peace out,

Littleyana

Time Equals Beauty

Still on the subject of time, how long do you prepare for work? school? Women often hear men complain about the time we need to doll ourselves up. But don't we all? I mean, if we really think about it, men are as vain as women. For documentation purposes, my morning routine is not at all noteworthy. But if you’re really curious, I whip a comb through my hair, toss on a pair of pants and blouse from my pile — not joking, it’s a mini-mountain — and apply baby powder that usually wipes off before I get to work. I only put lipstick on when I am in the office already.

However, I can appreciate a more elaborate process, and geishas’ rituals are lengthy and steeped in tradition. This beautiful film from the 1930s shows geisha styling their hair, dressing and preparing for public life.

And boys still ask what’s taking us girls so long?

Time Wasting Experiment

Remember we tried “quantifying the world”in my last post?. Well, this is a close cousin. This project of Alison Provax, a sort of audit of how a person spend his time (most times in a wasteful way), was a bit of a reality check. How much of our day is spent waiting for the inevitable, slipping into the depths of our mind? Take in the reasoning and philosophy behind this project.

How do you waste time? What’s your relationship with minutes, days and seconds?

First on My Wish List

As you know, this blog has ushered you, my beautiful friends, into a holiday sense of way. Oh how I love Christmas, no matter how stressful and nerve-racking it can be. It always delights us into something only a child in heart can appreciate and relate with.

And if you are a reader of this blog, you will know that we live in a semi-complete, 2-story structure, with open holes and unpainted walls and a comfort room that‘s all toilet bowl. No vanity, no shower, frosted glass or that stainless towel bar or that glittery mirror over bowl.

Really, how can a person possibly decorate a” dump”?

But then I saw this!

Oh how I love, love, love the idea...beautiful ceramic tiles printed with digital images. For some reason this is exactly what I want to have. Out of wit and imagination, I already visualized it to be filled with images possibly of birds or trees or may be inspiring words to live by, or may even family photos. I wonder how many poems, blogs, plans, castles in the sky will crop up in mind while seated on the porcelain pot. Nasty to think, but accept that sometimes we become our most productive when we are attending to the calls of Mother Nature. Our imaginations fly away, as well as thoughts and introspection about life and we often leave the bathroom already with answers to world peace.

Don't you think so?