You Will Be Missed Forever

Exactly one week today, on a Thursday, my mother’s sufferings finally ended. She was laid to rest beside her parents’ grave in an old cemetery.

In know our lives go on. We will smile more, laugh more. Love more. But we will never stop missing. We will never stop loving.

Looking forward to a day of peace and healing.

I pray that this coming Christmas and all the Christmasses to come, you all feel your mother’s presence with you more strongly.



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My mother is dead

But she is not gone.

And I love her like she is alive.

When The Day Is Long and Hard

Months previously, I was trying so hard to go against sadness. I know I was teetering toward mild depression hence my slight effort to start Christmas early in this blog.

Mother is sick and is now seriously ill. Already on Valium.

Many times I sat in my bed late at night absolutely scared about what to do.

Went to see her many times this week. The first time I couldn't touch her but the second time I loved her and hugged her and told her how much we adored her. I wiped her face with a tissue and felt her arms and legs and feet, knowing it may be the last few times we will ever see her. The wrinkles, almost wooden skin, is she dying inside? yet SO beautiful. Such a strapping person. Always have guests around to see her, even by person I never met in my whole life.

I'm not praying for miracles anymore. But I have a husband and two beautiful kids I adore just as much as I adored mother so I'm sure I'll keep going. Still I need everything that I can get because my mother is now counting months, may be days. Weeping and keening, and then this strange silence. I don’t know. Valium would not tell me.

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I found this poster and it made a lot of sense to me.

How to Deal With Your Instinct to Maim Those Politicians?

Have you ever watched the news? I try not to cause it’s so depressing but sometimes I see it. Look at them all so tough and defiant against their charges and allegations. The nerve of these people.

Bad senators, congressmen, judges, commissioners, barangay tanods aren't that hard to spot. They are EVERYWHERE. In order to deal with them, you have to understand what they are going through, where they are coming from. Because all they need is love and understanding.

JUST KIDDING.

These people expect that everybody loves them. They have this sense of self-worth that if they are honored, respected, prioritized and loved, they think they deserve it and if they are hated, they think their critics are if not heretics, are simply low-life lying morons.

Well?

The best way is to stay calm. You can bring them back to earth. Just have faith.

Or something.

So let’s begin.

Just because our public servants are restless souls, they are often hallucinating that their lives and time are more important than ours, which is why they get traffic escorts and back-up vehicles, want expresses through airport immigration and other similar conveniences. So I thought why fast forward the future and...

1. Prepare Them Advance Tombstones

 

Avoid putting "R.I.P" or "In Loving Memory Of" on their tombstone. Seriously? That is so 10 years ago. Give them some credit man! Be bold! Have them carve, "Wanna come with?". Better yet, have them write BRB or Be Right Back. Aside from its undeniable frivolity, this will remind our politicians that their powers and privileges do not necessarily mean an easy access to heaven. Saint Peter might send them elsewhere.

2. Summon a Ghost During a Senate Speech

Remember Tosho of The Grudge?

There is a saying that some ghosts are harmless and friendly. However this one is no Casper or else this would be useless. This ghost will be summoned during deliberation or privilege speech. The ghost will go to the public official and whispers mean things to him and only he can hear him. It can cause so much anguish and pain. Notice how he will become an emotional wreck right after the speech. Well, he can try to convince himself that his eyes are just irritated but we will know that's not true.

3. Sack them in a Life-Sized Condom

Every time they lie, steal, plagiarized, or spend millions for as inconsequential as burgers to as grandiose as a wack-wack mansion. Now there is a chance to effectively shoo away their nonchalant appeal for material things, lust included. Isn’t that once upon a time, God’s natural punishment was depriving them of erections? Such a frightening scenario, especially in a religious society that worships a God who does not believe in condoms and birth-control pills.

So when life gets tough, my dear readers, don't lose hope.

There's always a way.

Again, you're welcome.

A Day At The Park

Everyday I tell myself about being stronger. And then the universe laughed at me and decided to test that theory-.

The eldest boy had a school excursion yesterday. And I thought no one should be left behind, so we took the trip the three of us. Suddenly I found myself plunged into a good day that turned hellishly tiring. 

First we went to see the kidney stones of Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo, our country’s first president. 

It was there, put on display at Kawit, Cavite. There for everyone to see what a hundred-old kidney stone look like. 

The trip went on awesome and fascinating.. 

Basically here's this amazing man, who five minutes beforehand,
I thought was just ordinary guy on a horse

 I’ve long held a fascination with old things – in particular its history and the stories of hardship, hope and tragedy that hide behind walls, windows, doors and secret passageways. 

Inside the mansion was eerie but because it was packed by noisy kids (and adults), the feelings were more awe-inspiring rather than otherworldly.

I huffed and I puffed back up all the stairs. Had to stop three times because I'm dreadfully unfit. And hugely overweight. But I did it.

This one is spooky enough. 

We continued the trip to the Manila Ocean Park. We walked our legs off, continued to trudge around, being amazed on all their new attractions. Ladies, remember to wear a strong bra on the Megarider. It's a roller coaster ride inside the park.... very rickety. 

And then we set foot at the Trails of Antartica. Brrr!

"Son, these are real penguins...not ducks"

Official Christmas Photo, Manila Ocean Park 2013

Next: Birds of Prey!

The kids cheered at the large birds flying overhead and they were all so happy. 
So very off-the-cuff, spur of the moment happy. 

It’s like being inside the bird cage of Jurassic Park.

The whole trip was amazing. I'm happy that, as parents, we were able to let our children feel amazed, be informed and experienced these kind of activities.

It was all up-lifting.

Except that it burned my budget for the next week.

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How about you? when was the last time you took the kids out?

Zamboanga Not A Good Place..For Now..

That's pretty much what everyone is walking around thinking at this point, right? (Overseas readers: we have a falling out in Zamboanga and a lot of people are jaded as hell.)

Truth is, the Philippine peace council got knifed in the back by the MNLF, I haven't really been bothered to keep up with all the latest news. I've purposely not read articles and watched TV about because ..... it's all so disheartening.


What is disheartening?


This.

Kids roam free, fending for themselves. Often dirty, no shoes, no schools. 

People fleeing to evacuation camps.
Not sure when to have a normal life again. 

Armed men are commonplace. 

You can't buy any food. Most stores are closed. 

Sometimes we look for meaning and there is none.

Whoever started it probably don’t have a family.

I believe in free speech, good policy, good government, and a fair go. Schools, hospitals, the elderly .... the vulnerable in our society NEED to be taken care of.

So - the person who is killing the peace talks don't realize the benefits of a true freedom. Sometimes we don't know that we are eaten alive by our broken principles and false honor.

I hope whoever is in charge will take good care of our people.

Philippines is one of the best countries on earth. And I hope it stays that way.

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Where I Turned Into A Saw Slaying Monster. Kind Of.

I have many kinds of anger:

1. The kind that I forget after 10 seconds.
2. The kind that takes a day to sink in, which is very frustrating especially when, the moment it sinks in, it's not relevant to talk about anymore
3. The kind that makes me create imaginary arguments in my head in which you will win and I will hate you more.
4. The kind that makes me want to make you realize how stupid you are by using extreme sarcasm and snide remarks that you probably won't even understand.
5. The kind that frustrates me a lot that it makes me tear up. 
6. The kind that makes me want to go Super Saiyan on you. 
7. And the kind that makes my blood boil up inside and make me want to secretly take a picture of you and post it on the Internet because I will probably hate you forever. FOREVER. 

And do you want to know what makes me that angry?

Wait. Okay. Not that angry.

PMS.

If you have been reading this blog for a length of time, there are two things that bother me every month: bills and monthly period.

I know its not normal for most girls to get crazy-angry when PMS-ing. But compared to the random mood swings and cramps and headaches and body pains and frustrations and that feeling where you want to strangle everyone who says something stupid, staying sane is probably the worst when the red flag is up.

So this is why I want to discuss ways to get us girls out of trouble when its the time of the month.

Here they are..

Eat. Follow your cravings. We're a lot peaceful with full stomach.

Go to the gym. Exercising and sweating bring you a sweet
adrenalin rush..

Find a hobby. Dance, sing, shave someone's head, twerk. Whatever!
Anything that turn you back into peace-loving, delicate
butterfly that you know you are..

Lastly,


Don't eat sugar for breakfast. Because as the day goes on, you'll get more hyper.
More hyper than you already are in the morning.


So there.

I hope I helped.

You're welcome

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Dear Cancer

You suck!

You used to scare everyone silly, but we are not afraid of you anymore.

You didn't get my father. You didn't get my aunt. You didn't get my other aunt and you're not gonna get my mother!

She is eating healthy & then you know what she did?

She smiled for a photo & posted it on FACEBOOK.

My mother at the right, with her sister

So there.

You can try to beat us all you want, but we know how to fight. And we will keep fighting.

You might as well just go away.

And never come back.

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