Wednesday, October 24, 2012

On Why You Should Buy Haunted Stuff

First, because they are more challenging. Challenging enough to leave everyone screaming while running out of the house. Who wouldn’t get excited of having the whole house to your self even for one day? Second, they are probably cheaper. You get them at a fraction of the original cost. You know, stigmatized properties are a bit difficult to liquidate, not because they have ghosts living in there, but because they don’t usually go well with plasma TVs. So they are usually for sale with big discounts. But far too many people give up on something just because it’s not easy. I personally believe that people should consider the advantages of spook-filled, bemoaning creepy, crawly stuff that turn to lumbering Zombies who want to eat your brain when you are not looking. Lets look at their benefits.

Haunted Beds

It is soft and inviting to curl up on, and has comfort you can rely on night after night. Adore the big head board carvings, accents and draperies and all the designs that looked kind like well, old, like something you see, well, in horror movies. In the deep of the night, prepare to feel a weird kind of pressure looming over you, and watch the edge of the bed depress like someone is sitting there. But take heart, buying them and getting rid of these beds every 6 months is worth the terror. Our 2- year old bed, soaked in pees, dusts and bug is not something you will like. I tell you that’s a very good deal.

Haunted Rocking Chairs

Not where U2, Black Sabbath or Aerosmith peeps rock and sit. I speak of a type of chair with two curved bands of wood attached to the bottom of the legs (one on the left two legs and one on the right two legs) and rock back and forth thus rocking chair (duh?). Wait till it rocks on its own. At first a very slow rock, then a little bit slower, then a little bit faster. But don’t run yet. Be glad about how much you can save using it instead of buying the costly Lazy Boy you see in posh furniture stores. It will lull you to sleep faster. Double the points if it is painted in pink. How cute!

Haunted Clocks, Refrigerators, Vacuum Cleaners, Mixers, etc.

They usually levitate, open and close and choked or pinned you to death. Your grandfather clock rings will terrify you enough to doom. Add the thrill if the grand piano plays on its own. But worry not, they are as priceless as they are good power saving devices. You can actually cut your electric bill in half as they are not plugged to any electrical outlet. And they usually come to life when you least expected it.

And last but not the least..

Haunted Houses

Well they are scary and make you feel like “you are not really alone”. Just wait a short time and everything inside your haunted house like your haunted beds, chairs, clocks and piano are sure to get thrown across the room. Expect to hear bemoaning spirits, appearing in and out in thin air. But they do have their own benefits. I don't know how much CCTV and other home security systems cost, but they can't be cheap. I'm sure that the system itself is expensive, but then the monthly monitoring fee is probably ridiculous, too. Just imagine how much money someone would save if they had a ghost to keep the burglars out.

There are actually many other benefits of owning a haunted house such as having cool disco lights. Look at what happened to Kris Aquino’s house in Fengh Shui (even the undead have the right to party, right?). You can also charge for tours around the house during the Halloween.

These are, actually, nice ideas.

Have a happy spooky Halloween, friends!


  1. hahaha very nice spooky idea you have in there... I would definitely like the rocking chair that rocks by itself... imagine you dont have to exert effort while sitting there all you gotta do is relax while the ex owner old granny rocks it for you... nyahahahaha!