Monday, March 26, 2012

How I Feel On This Monday Morning

You know what I am not very good at? We’ll aside from many things, I am bad with waiting. Although you see me cool and calm outside, but inside an emotional meltdown is underway, which, believe me, is no easy feat. I am always like this: slightly manic depressive. Hyper, frenzied and over excited at one time and agitated and nervous the next. In real life I can be passive about many things. If someone bothers me, I hold it in to the point where I feel like I'm going to burst.

Waiting for me is like sitting alone in a lifeless jumble of secret thoughts.

That’s because I am mental. When asked about his worst trait, Boy Abunda, a popular Filipino TV host, he has tendency to overanalyze. He tends to over think. That’s me, exactly. I am always inclined towards thoughts and ideas. But then time comes that it’s no longer tolerable. Suddenly, the thoughts became words, and words became actions. And actions became life. What was used to be just inside your head, now written all over your dour, bleak face. And then I asked, if nothing was coming to me, why bother?

So, there I was, hanging on to every fiber of hope, whether these things will come to pass or not. But no assurance. In fact, I don’t even have any claim for it. Truth of the matter, I am just under the person’s goodness. Tied to a promise that I don’t know if he can deliver. So from here to where this leads, I am at waiting mode. Left with nothing but time to wait and optimism to hang on dearly.

So what's the point to this post? Don’t promise me stars, because sometimes I expect to see the whole universe.

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