I see children with Ipods, laptops, high end cellphones and gadgets,that were downright classy and glamorous as compared to my own children’s cars, dolls and boardgames. Yes, touch-screen cellphones are glamorous to the stuff-totting, budget-conscious, working mother-of-two like me. And I wonder if I'm setting my own children up for failure by not providing as many opportunities. Truthfully, I am sometimes bothered that my love and affection aren’t enough. And though I treat them with new books and toys occasionally, I feel that they deserve more.
Intellectually, I know that we live well. I have seen families that rely entirely from support of other people to survive. We are not like that. We hold our own and earn our keeps. Not that it is impossible to buy them these things, but in a household where milk and diapers are indispensable, these two are my top priority. It’s hard to be steady all the time, and that’s why effort to save is a must in between times of excess and need. I’ve told my eldest that sometimes things come, and things happen, along with time, patience, hard work and determination. I really hope he gets that one.
Honestly, I want our kids to be good people who are intelligent and awesome, but school, TV, playmates can be cruel, and I want to shelter my children from as much of these as I possibly can. Easier said than done, I know. I know just how crappy and ugly other kids can make you feel. I will fight anyone who makes my children feel inferior!
When I compare myself, then I find my lack, the gap between me and another who has more. How foolish of me to dwell of what I don't have rather than all that I do have! But altogether, comparison never leads to anything good. It is overall unhealthy and a habit that only feeds on itself. I don't want to gauge my life by looking at others to see 'how I'm doing.' Also, I want my children to be grateful for what they do have.
What are some ways to train gratefulness, contentedness and joy with what you've got?
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ReplyDeleteDon't feel so bad, Malou. I know as parents we want to give our children everything but I don't think that's a good thing either. When children are able to learn to distinguish early on their needs from their wants, it's a valuable lesson that will make them better persons later on in life. I'm sure you and Jun are doing a very good job of raising Ashley and Yanna.
ReplyDeleteThanks Margj. I just hope that my children won't pick up the "worrier" in me. All I want is for them to be responsible and appreciative. You surely will make a good mother when the time comes.
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