Wednesday, August 10, 2011

What To Wear To A Wedding?

I love weddings. You see those cute flower girls and you wish you can grow your own little wings too. However, the worst thing about it is going there. Like what to wear. If you own dresses, gowns, attires for all occasions then that would be no problem. But if you are like me who buy things like blouses and shoes that you can use at the church, office, and shopping mall; then for formal events such as wedding, you really have to drag your ass just so you can find one that’s classier and more elegant.
I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. I mean, my search for the appropriate dress and shoes and accessories.
Did I mention I belong to the round side? No? I do.
So double the effort as there only few plus size clothes as there with common sizes.


While I am not at the dress section, I was looking for nice pair of shoes, all for good five days now. Obviously, I have issues and should start seeing therapist now. I don’t know what makes me happy anymore. And those price tags? they kill me. Before it was style before the prize, now it’s the prize first before the style. All these anxieties for just one occasion. Since when did I become shallow? I think that’s what happened when you get older. You get fashionably vain.

After “talking myself down”, I decided to just let my mind wander and think of something else.

And just like that, I realized how fixated I am at times.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Does She?

Do you know what is just downright odd, friends? You know, not being able to be closed with a person. I know two people and they make me believe that they are real friends. And I'm a bit jealous. And I have virtually NO idea why? I'm sure you can relate, right? Well, at least a poem came out of it, I suppose...

Your simple acts and lack of demands
Are what make you dear to everyone
You don’t impose, you just give suggestions
To conflicts, you always stay on the ground

Occasionally, you argue but never rude or proud
But at times you keep your wall as if no one is allowed
Those were moments I stayed at a distance
For I don’t want to break in on anyone

So I guess, respect came first before our friendship
A prelude, may be a space I thought you need
However, time passed and we became accustomed to it
I realized the coldness, the distance no, not this!

You carry songs so very well,
Your two-part harmony we can never do without
But what’s good in telling
For few days from now you’ll be leaving

But all is not spoiled though for I know
In a way, you had me inspired; you had me wished to grow
In singing, in serving, in believing what I can still do
To my one sister-in-Christ, that’s true, that’s you

While we are not itchy with each other, we just didn’t hit it off, so to speak. We belong to one group, but I don’t feel closed to her. I arrived into conclusion that sometimes there is a kind of friendship that needs more time before it fully blossoms. While there are relationships that come so naturally, there are others that require special care and attention. And then there’s also this kind that never grows at all.

So what if you are not the “best friend”?

Inside, I feel not really sad but more like puzzled as to why we didn’t click. This can be really awkward at times. So what do you do while you stare at her ever so cozy, warm and close with others than she is with you?

Honestly? Nothing. You cannot force closeness, like you cannot force love.

You can only be happy for them.