Nine Years Later

Hubs is definitely nicer than I am. Here’s why…

Next Thursday will be our 9th anniversary. Nine Years!!! It feels longer, both in good and bad ways. He still snores like a rocket about to launch, you know. But through it all, so much have happened since my last anniversary post here.

Over these years, I’ve learned a few things about marriage (and of course, am still learning). Be the front and center to your children. Say thank you. You’re allowed to get mad. Kiss each other goodbye.

But Hubs, who is actually a year younger but a lot wiser, does something really great. Coming out of nowhere, he texts, tells other people, says in my face in front of children, that he is lucky to have found me. Cheez. He does that even seconds after a verbal fight.

I usually shrug it off, thinking “hmm..bola!”. But deeper, I know he means it. And he wants me to hear it.
Not exactly, but in similar matter, I read an article about a husband who also does something great. In height of an argument, he says, "I love you!" right in the middle. It's amazing.



Here's what the husband said: "The secret to a long and happy marriage is not the idea that nothing bad is ever going to happen. But it's that when something bad happens, you know how to get through it together. One of the most important things is that when you're having a fight, instead of ratcheting up the emotion, you diffuse it. In the middle of a fight, say, "I love you; you're the most important person in the world to me," even if at that moment, those words are the hardest ones to choke out because you're so mad. It reminds you both of the big picture. It doesn't make it instantly better, but it takes it down a notch. And in the cool-down period afterward, you're not left questioning. You know everything is going to be ok. Half an hour after the fight, it's over and you feel good."

Great idea, right? I cannot tell you what a difference it makes. I'm still too hotheaded to do it myself, but I'm glad Hubs is nicer, better, sweeter person than I am.

What little secrets and tips do you have for relationships? Do you fight fair? I'd love to hear...

{Photo via LeLove}