Blogging Ideas 101: The Sky Was Storming But My Mind is Empty

For nearly three years that I blog, many times I wonder what to write next. I say with my scanty experience, I’ve discovered that there’s a whole world of topics from serious to most ridiculous, to write about and play around with.

However a writer’s story is never his own. It's owned by whatever tale has hijacked his mind. And because structured blogging makes my teeth itch, my topics are as scrambled as your morning eggs and tousled and twisted like my brain. And if anything, especially to those newbies who have accidentally found this blog, here’s what you could possibly plagiarized add in your future blogs. And like many of you, I am to write my best blog post yet. However, I am meaning to drop a line to some of these topics that will hopefully earn me huge royalties in case they are turn to books, movies, TV commercials, etc. etc.

My timeline is infinite and so don’t expect perfect timing as well as social relevance.

1. Grand Review of Fifty Shades of Grey.

I have not seen, touched, smelled, but I’ve totally heard about this book. All I knew of Fifty Shades is that it started out as Twilight fan fiction and it has plenty of graphic sex scenes. Of course, I have to figure out what really sells a story. In case of Fifty Shades, metaphors, love stories with naughty bits, and erotic terms Mills-and-Boons-style lines like: “Don’t worry,” he breathes, his eyes on mine. “You expand, too”… sell it like crazy. I read somewhere that the author of Fifty Shades of Grey earns over a million dollars every week in royalties. Not bad.

(Note: my friend is doing a review of this one. I hope I didn’t pre-empt her)

2. Start Hate Campaign for Apple, Mac, etc.

We're all halfway through 2012 (WHAT??) and this 20th century can really make 70’s babies like myself feel like cryogenically frozen. Really, where was I when all the Itouch, Iphone, Itab, Ipad my son is so learned about came to market? When all I do is Iwash, Icook, Iscrub, Iclean? I think these big giants should know that their pricey gadgets and gizmos don’t make me feel connected. If anything, they make me feel remote and isolated. That's because they are too pricey. I recently purchased Galaxy Samsung pocket. At barely 5 thousand pesos, I went crazy looking for wi-fi area to have internet on my phone. For the longest time that I see people around me touching, their fingers gliding the cell phone’s screen while I click my old Nokia keypad it is just so thirsting, I tell you. But Snoopy dance, my husband’s sister gave us her Iphone recently. Yes! ‘Love you Apps!

3. Write Blog Series that You Need to Read So You Don’t Die.

I do not like those blogs, books, that advise readers on things they have to read/watch/listen to/eat/see before they die. The titles alone are threatening and fascistic. And what do you get after all that effort? Oblivion. How dare you impose a deadline on us, we have no intention of dying. Ergo I intend to list life’s essentials that promise the opposite: Read them and get more life. Lots more life.

4. Plants Vs Zombies: A Tale of Neverending Love

Like the Twilight books, but with zombies this time as lead players. Why should vampires and werewolves have all the fun? What have the readers got against zombies? Sure, you’ll devour books in which zombies chase people and eat their faces, but you never see them as romantic objects. Although I have yet to see a female zombie to play Bela but a little make over maybe the Sunflower can pass for a female love interest.

The problem is we tend to stereotype. Why? Is it because their skin and hair are falling off and the only thing they can say is “Aaaargh”? But right there are the ingredients of a tragic romance.

Young lovers standing together against a world that doesn’t understand their feelings — check. Young lovers hunted by parties sworn to eat their brains — check. A sense of doom — may be stronger pea bullets or taller walnuts that will drift them apart— check. My son will so love this.

5. My Own Uncensored, Tell-All Autobiography

Including never-before-seen photos and all the hard facts I myself know nothing about. It’s my mother narrating the story. I can’t wait to read.

P.S.

I am invited to guest post at Between You and Me. This or another totally different post may appear. Spell awesome!