Monday, February 21, 2011

What I Almost Forgot

It was this last Valentine that my husband took me out to dinner. The first time after seven years. When we were still single, we were inseparable. We will hang out in some place else after work. No special occasions that we were not together. But things changed when we got married, especially when the children arrived.
End of the two of us. It is always been four of us since then.

I cannot account if it’s because of the budget, time or who’s- going-to-be-with them if we will have our “us” time. So seven years went by and I hardly remember how to feel smitten, infatuated, love-struck by my ex-boyfriend. Ex because he is already my husband.

But that night, we went for it. Alone. No kids. Just the two of us. But believe me; the feeling was kind of strange. Several times I asked him if we can fetch and take the kids with us. He thought for awhile and said okay. But later on we’ve decided that it was our night, our date.

So there we were, at Food Choice in Glorietta Mall in Makati, surrounded by heaps of pasta. From carbonara, to pesto, to something like sweetened flat spaghetti. They go with two pieces of chicken, one with corn sauce and another with what looked like a hickory sauce. It was no candle-lit dinner but the pleasure of being with your faithful and loving husband made it all the more fun and exciting. And oh, did I ever mention that he gave me 3 roses with 2 Cadbury bars? Although our conversation was not as romantic as before, we talked for three good hours.

Because of some faulty thinking, I thought parents don’t have any right to enjoy life and have fun. Now I know better. A day will come when our kids will grow up and leave us. And one day, we will be left alone in an empty, quiet house. Now that we haven’t lost the interest, the fun, the love of spending time together yet, I promised to take care of not losing it. For I don’t want to be left with a cold, distant, bitter husband later on.

So husbands and wives? Your relationship needs time.
Either you pay now or pay later.
When you pay later, it always costs more.
I suggest you pay now.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Heart Matters

Have you ever prepared for a birthday party before?
It’s always hard work.

But who said love isn’t hard work? As I am aware, love is about dirty hands, not just beating hearts.

Relationship is like a birthday party. You prepare, plan and pray that everything will go smoothly. But the thing is, there is no relationship that did not meet hardships and difficulties. Something will always come up to ruin it. Boredom, money, indifferences, lack of time, etc. Banished the idea that you two are exact pieces of a puzzle. A peg in a hole. Remember that you were different individuals until you decided to marry. So like a party, there is a constant threat of broken dishes, spoiled desserts, dull and boring moments.

Five husbands?! Remember the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman? When Jesus met her at the well, she was told to go home and get her husband. But the Samaritan replied, I have no husband. And the Lord said, yes you are right. You have no husband, because the man you’re living with right now is not your husband. And you have had five husbands already.

How sad to get through five heartaches, how depressing to be left alone not once or twice but five times! I remember my most hurtful break up with a man. I was literally shedding bucket full of tears. Every single night. It was so painful I thought I was going to die. Talk about hitting rock bottom. And like me, she must really have felt ugly, unattractive, fat and totally replaceable,five times over! But I knew that God has other plans for me. He let me hit rock bottom to find my way to true love.

For the long and short of it, nothing guarantees a perfect relationship. And no book can ever prepare you to achieve it. It’s a journey and test in itself. You have to put in all the hard work, without expecting any return. And like throwing parties, taking care of relationships can be hard and very frustrating.

If you’re reading this, wondering if it’s really worth starting, keeping, saving the kind of relationship you have right now, let tell you: you life, your feelings, your desire are God’s business too. He loves you more than you can imagine.

Receive His love today.
And learn to throw more parties in your life.
Your relationships need them badly.

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman. (NLT)