Lest We Lost Them

He went missing for nearly half an hour…was not where he was supposed to be. I thought I lost him forever, thought I would never see him again and my whole body went heavy. I started panicking straight away. You know when your kid is missing and time moves like slow concrete and you think,

"This is it. I will never see him again."

Very hard to breathe.

Twenty minutes I walked around, calling his name. Started to cry, rushed out onto the shore shouting his name. Like, SHOUTING his name. All the possibilities exploding in my brain.

But just as we thought of calling the police, he was found. Was crying and frightened, said he was very hungry. A sort of mixed emotions rushed in.

Utterly, hopelessly in love with this guy so hard

"He's alive? Great. Now, I'm gonna kill him."

This happened last Friday, at the beach. Hubs, as usual, had a job to attend to and cannot afford to come. But I took the two children anyway and was hoping to end the day well tanned and relaxed.

He's only eight - almost nine. I give him freedom and trust, rules, boundaries, jobs. I tell him ... I know it's hard being a kid. Sometimes I'm not such a great mother and I bend at the pressure of it all, this constant being in control of these humans that came out of my body.

So I’ve decided to take the kids in the pool instead. The whole beach seems such a huge place to look for a lost child. In the pool I could always jump to the water for him, or yell or shout like crazy in case he get to the deep area.

When you have children, that's the main thing anybody wants to know:

"Are they good children?" Over and over again. Ended up telling everybody that my children are precious, no matter how naughty and badly behaved they are some days. They pull me up and out every time.

But the thing is, you don't choose your family. Life chooses them for you.

I hope my children grow up and die old.

I hope they will be best mates.

I hope they live big, real, fruitful, rich lives full of laughter and pain and heartache.

I hope if they do get lost in the jungles of life, they know their way home.

::

Do you have a lost child story? Can anyone relate?