How Much Do You Need TeleSerye In Your Life?

Okay, I admit it. I have a tendency to torture myself. Whether it’s killing myself dancing Zumba, or dying watching TV. I’m a TV addict. You can bribe me to stay home all day by just leaving the TV on. Basically, I know how to entertain myself.

But in spirit of brainless fun, allow me to describe what I love and hate with what’s on TV every night.

What are the odds that when you are explaining the value of honesty to your son, telling him to avoid use of profane languages, and howling and crying won’t do him any good, that when you switch the TV on you’d be shocked by the name-calling, cursing, yelling between bida and contrabida even Tabasco has no match to their spicy words?

Apparently, the chances are pretty good.



First of, Channel 7, after Indio (btw this show’s use of old vernacular makes them sweet to ear, so this one can pass up) welcome Pahiram ng Sandali. Look s like the selling point of the story is "hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.." There are mildly amusing scenes here and there. And there is a mildly sexy, slightly charming flirtation scene between the still sexy but obviously old Lorna and well toned, young Dingdong. Dindong shows us why women still fall head over heels for him, now if only that’s a bit gross to imagine. All in all, this is teleserye. Anything can happen.



At about the same time, on channel 2 airs Kailangan Ko’y Ikaw. See the sexy Anne Curtis as Ruth who is so hell-bent on becoming a model in New York that she stages her own kidnapping to extort money from her father to finance her dream. In real life, of course, short girls like Ruth, the name of Anne’s character, don’t stand a chance even on the runways of New York, Cubao.

Sadly, this one offered very little over-the-top propositions in its first week that would make it worth buying a stored-value-ticket for. Nor did it hint that things will eventually get exciting. From the poster alone, we already know that Anne and her sister Roxanne, played by Kris Aquino, will both fall in love with the lone leading man, Robin Padilla—even if Roxanne pretends to be all nice and supportive of her rebellious sister’s pursuits in the beginning. Second, we already know that Robin and Tirso Cruz III have a past—and not the kind of past we’re interested in (like maybe Tirso was once Robin’s Mrs. Robinson). In the soap, Tirso, a former security guard, has something to do with the death of Robin’s father. Big deal.



If you stayed further late, prepare to watch Temptation of Wife, a Korean remake. Be enthralled by Heidi’s bangs. It is so straight and shiny, you wish you can grow one yourself. She is so sexy but cunning and schemy you also want to rip her apart. But wait, there’s Angeline-turned-Chantal. Even my 3 year old kid can guess she is the former. But this, again, is a teleserye. People come back from the dead in teleseryes. Your mother will turn out to be your daughter’s sister in teleseryes, and Sam Milby and Paulo Avelino will fight tooth, nail, abs, and dimples just to win Angeline Quinto’s heart. This is the reason people risk their lives every week night taking the MRT, where it is possible to die from getting squeezed to death or just from inhaling the aroma of the city’s commuting public: to make it home in time for an hour's worth of unbelievable.



Back to channel 2 again at around 10pm, watch Iza Calzado’s disobedient wig. Why on earth this one never move? Is she sick? And why is Andi Eigenmann head over heels mad at her? I don’t think Jake Cuenca's weird moustache is worth it.

In closing, you'll ask why everyone hates everyone? why on earth there's always a mistress in each story?

Probably it might be a good idea to skip watching for a week. Because it’s usually when you stop watching that the network bosses get nervous and order a bunch of rewrites (a botched effort at which is probably the reason for the early demise of A Beautiful Affair). So when you tune back in two weeks after, these teleseryes will start blowing your mind with a pile of incest twists, loads of zinger dialogue, and a bunch of people coming back from the dead. Who knows, maybe Anne Curtis will come back from New York a more interesting character, or taller, or as a fashion model very curiously resembling BB Gandanghari.

I’d might take the train for that any day.