This Train Experience

Did you ever have a chance of riding the train? Not the MRT or LRT but the old, clanky, sometimes stinky and mosquito infested, where Tutuban-going people ride? I do. Everyday either off to work or way back home I use the PNR train. And riding it is like signing your own death warrant. Either you are pushed, bumped, pulled, scratched that you can almost pass for recovering drug addict or alcoholic once you get out of it. Yes. Everyday is a full one.

Last night was a misnomer.

It’s not a train. It’s a purgatory. Ready to test your patience and values, all the hopes and optimism so life will not leave you.

I’ve waited for one full hour at the Buendia Station, in Makati. They said the train is delayed. Okay, Regine can keep me company. As well as handful of angry birds on my cellphone to while away the time.

After one hour, my train arrived with its hair pulling people.

I am a person who does not readily complain. I keep my cool as long as I can. I tried my best not to be anyone’s hater, basher, crazy maker or user. You know I usually feed my brain with peaceful stuff although my husband sometimes look at me like I was Atilla the Hun.

Anyway.

We arrived at the next station, just a millilisecond away where we boarded. And that’s where “purification” happened. What I thought would be few minutes of waiting, turned out to be hours. Standing and hungry, I love how my legs supported my aching body. I though I m going to have a panic attack. I just wished that PNR people will pay for my therapist.

On the sound system, came repeated apology because there was a train somewhere that went crazy and can’t pull itself forward. So we have to wait for it to pass before we can go. I just felt that too many things are wrong. First my bad hair this morning, and then my dry skin and then this. I hope this is not genetic. I wish for Yana all the good stuff. Not this.

But I pursued. I waited for the thug and the time that we will leave the place soon. And have my dinner and sleep.

And in that moment I realized that not all bad stuff is forever. That even this horrible experience came to pass. And I'm going to laugh at all the craziness that I see on the faces of people, telling me the world is also fun and not all sad or scary. I may still feel desperate inside. But all feelings ebb and flow. Even kidney stones eventually pass, right?

May be last night was a mess. But I know its all part of my history. That life, like this headbutting experience train ride, is only what it is. An experience we need to get through to make us tougher, stronger, and wiser.

So may be this PNR train sucks but I will still ride it anyway. In fact, I am riding it again tonight.